What Christmas ALREADY????!!!!

Yeah I know like really boys and girls.  I keep telling everyone that it just doesn't feel like Christmas.  What is wrong with me this year?  Something just doesn't seem right in all this.  I sit here tonight in tears cause anyone who knows me KNOWS that this is my most favorite time of the year.  I mean come on my decorations are all up, candy is getting ready to be made, Christmas cards are going out, and Christmas music is being played.  Then it comes to me that it is my attitude.  There is a part of me who knows that down home there is a somebody who is missing.  Though I didn't see her much in my grown up years as I should.  I remember the Christmas Eves when we would gather round and listen to my aunts and uncles sing songs with us and a Granny doll for us girls (made specially by our granny).   The summers when she took us fishen at our pond,, the outhouses where cousins (more like brother) would lean up against it so I couldn't get out,  the hay forts, and just love (sure miss the loven) .   The old, wooden swing that was tied up in the tree that was our best friend.  A place of laughter and a place to cry, a place for dreamen and just plain thinking.  As I grew I guess those memories faded and were taken for granted, but as I look as those attitudes of the past few weeks I see I have allowed them to take over my current attitude which is not right or fair to those here and now memories waiting to be made.