I am not be definition a joyful person. As one looks at my character they would describe me as serious, negative in the sense that I can point out the bad in something before I point out the good. I love things that are black and white, right or wrong I hate the middle of the road kind of stuff. Many times in my life people would always say cheer up, look happy, quite, stop frowning stop looking that way. I always felt those people, some well meaning and others not so much, were just being critical of me. After all if they could see what I see and felt the way I felt then they would understand. Then I started hearing my children ask those dreaded words "are you mad mom" the answer would always be no just thinking and in my heart I wondered did these other "Christians" train them to see this in me. A little foolish I guess, but still it was what I felt. I also see the bad in myself before I see any good. As I watched the new DVD that I just bought "Tea with Michelle Duggar" the Lord started to show me more things in my life where I should move up in. One of the things that struck me in the interview was that she was in her laundry room one early morning, when her children were younger, crying to the Lord. Her question was how Lord, she couldn't keep up, she was so tired. The answer to her was Nehemiah 8:10 "....for the joy of the LORD is your strength." As I listened to Michelle sing the little song we all know so well "the joy of the Lord is my strength" I realize that yes, while there is a serious side to life and a lot of wrong in this old world with the Lord as my strength there is a lot I could and should look for that is good. Now I know this will not be easy, as Satan would love nothing better than to see me fall and fail once again, but as we teach our little babies to walk and encourage and praise their efforts. Our heavenly Father also gives us encouragement and love in His word to keep on trying.
